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前幾天,我找同事一起開車,載著我的腳踏車去換後車胎。把腳踏車留給修理廠的人之後,又開著車回公司。外面的陽光姣好,是那種清爽涼快的荷蘭夏天感覺。這種天氣總讓人覺得應該請假在家裡睡覺最好!碰巧收音機之中播放出來一首歌,Gloria Estefan的「Can't Stay Away From You」。我「哇!」一聲地叫了出來,「天呀,這是多久以前的歌啦!?」

我心中很快速地搜尋了一遍記憶。我1989年第一次來到歐洲的時候,剛好看見她的「Cuts Both Way」專輯上市。那首歌是比「Cuts Both Way」還要古早的,所以大概是在1987或是1988年推出的吧!那與現在(2006年)的距離竟然是四捨五入可以得到「二十年」的時間!我心中一陣驚怖,「有這麼久了嘛?」我轉頭跟同事說,「這以前曾經是我非常喜歡的歌曲之一呢!」接著我就開始跟著旋律哼唱著。很神奇的事情是,我竟然還記得歌詞。一個字沒有漏掉。

這首歌收錄在Gloria Estefan在1987年推出的大碟「Let It Loose」之中。在隔年1988年成為那張專輯第三首發行的單曲,最高曾經是Billboard Hot 100的第六名。1988年的時候,我才國二。那時候除了每天唸書準備應付無聊的考試之外,很多時間是在聆聽西洋歌曲的時光中渡過的。「Let It Loose」這張專輯的卡帶,那時候也是我小小的收藏之一。因為那時候沒有錢買CD,家裡也沒有CD player,所以也就只有卡帶而已。等到後來有CD Player的時候,也沒有去把這張CD補回來。久而久之,最後這張專輯之中的歌曲,就變成我記憶中存在,但是手邊完全沒有的(尤其是我所有的錄音帶收藏都還在我爸媽家中我的舊房間的一角)。

那天回到家之後,上網去搜尋了一下Gloria Estefan的資訊(溫故知新一番),順便找到了這首「Can't Stay Away From You」。這才發現,原來我一直以為當時還很年輕的Gloria Estefan在推出這首歌的時候就已經三十歲了!(對,她明年就滿五十歲囉!看不出來吧!)突然讓我覺得很有趣。我十二、三歲的時候,聽一個年滿三十歲的女人吟唱著傷感的愛情。我只是覺得旋律很好聽,跟著吟唱之後,把歌詞記下來了,順便練習英文。然後等到自己三十出頭的時候,又在一個偶然的機會之中,把這首歌再翻出來聆聽,竟然現在那些歌詞是讓我覺得可以感覺「associated」的!聽歌的時候,很多以前小時候關於Gloria Estefan的記憶湧了上來,但是又加入更多因為隨口吟唱出的歌詞而掀起另外一些無關於Gloria Estefan,但是有關於「Can't Stay Away From You」那歌詞營造出的情境的déjà vu。

Time flies
When you're having fun
I heard somebody say
But if all I've been is fun
Then baby let me go
Don't wanna be in your way

And I don't wanna be your second choice
Don't wanna be just your friend
You keep telling me that you're not in love
You wanna throw it all away

But I can't stay away from you
I don't wanna let you go
And though it's killing me, that's true
There're just some things I can't control

Your love is slipping through my hands
And though I've heard it all before
I know you're telling me the truth
I know it's just no use
But I can't stay away from you

Hold on to every bit of hope, that's all I ever do
Hoping you might change your mind
And call me up to say how much you need me too
And though you're leaving me no other choice
Than to turn and walk away
Look over your shoulder, I'll be there
You can count on me to stay…

'Cause I can't stay away from you
I don't wanna let you go
And though it's killing me, that's true
There're just some things I can't control

Your love is slipping through my hands
And though I've heard it all before
I know you're telling me the truth
I know it's just no use
But I can't stay away from you

I know you're telling me the truth
I know it's just no use
But I can't stay away from you


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