在漢堡（Hamburg）有一間咖啡館，Café Gnosa。這是一間同志咖啡館。店門口掛著彩虹旗。在星期天的下午，我和我的一對朋友，Jörg和Niko，來到這家高朋滿座的咖啡館。還沒有走進門，儘管外面的天氣已經秋意滿天，有點起風，而且溫度不怎麼高了，但是戶外街道上的露天座位已經客滿。室內也是每個桌子都已經被佔據了。我們很幸運地一剛走進門，就有人起身結帳離開，所以我們才撿到一個桌子坐下。
之前，Jörg就已經提醒我了，這間雖然是掛著「彩虹旗」的同志咖啡館，但是現在星期天下午來喝咖啡吃蛋糕的顧客卻是以「異性戀」為主。Niko說，這是因為這間店的蛋糕實在太好吃了！旅遊簡介書上也沒有特別說這一家咖啡館的性質，所以按圖索驥而來的旅人也很多。
讓Jörg有些介意的是在這間「同志」咖啡館裡面，如果他要攬著男友的手、親吻男友、或是要從事一些其他親暱的小動作，但是卻常常發現隔壁的「Straight」用一種很「漢堡搜奇」的目光看著他。他覺得，「天老爺，這是同性戀的世界耶，不要把你們那種異性戀逛動物園的習慣帶進來吧！」Niko在一旁打趣說，「我們要記得Straight-friendly，我們可是風度翩翩的同性戀呢！我們不歧視異性戀喔！」
我轉頭看了看四周，的確，這一會兒，果然是環繞在異性戀顧客之中。不過，我向來都是「你們最好早點習慣」這種態度，所以也沒有太在意。我和Jörg聊起我的好朋友Bruce。順便幫忙就幫Bruce做個跨國公關，把他反對性/別歧視的觀點跟Jörg分享了一下。其實，我認識Jörg也有四年了，不過起初可完全不是因為性/別議題聊上話的！這一會兒聊到這些「政治」議題，才發現我們兩個人還真是觀點相同！
在Café Gnosa之中的最大活動就如同在其他所有的咖啡館裡面一樣。一面看人，一面被人看。Jörg教我一個德文字「lästern」，他說，這就是大家在這裡做的事情。他不知道那個字的英文是什麼，所以只好形容它的意思給我聽。我當時則告訴他一個擁有類似的意思中文詞句：「品頭論足」。回到荷蘭之後，我才查了出來，原來「lästern」的中文翻譯（根據網路上漢堡中德協會的漢德．德漢字典）是「在背後議論別人」的意思。其實也跟「品頭論足」相差不遠了。而且「品頭論足」還很可以塑造出一個從人家的頭打量到人家的腳，臉孔穿著身材風采通通看個仔細，然後評論挑剔一番。這真的是很貼切的形容呀！（一笑）
為什麼會聊到這個哩？其實是因為Jörg一直對於某些人那種「你們要搞同性戀沒關係，但是不要在大街上卿卿我我，那樣很難看」或是諸如此類的態度很有意見。尤其，他很難忍受竟然在同志咖啡館裡面都要受到這種眼光。（他還曾經真的為了這個事情跑去跟咖啡館老闆好好抗議了一下哩！）
我完全能夠體會他的感覺。Jörg也說，現在漢堡的市長其實就是個同志，但是卻很「詭譎」地認為「同性戀」是一個私領域的事情（private matter），所以不需要特別拿到公領域來說。這真的是非常的糟糕而且可議。為什麼？因為很簡單，如果把同性戀換成「異性戀」就可以發現，「異性戀」從來不是一個只是私領域的事情。你看見大街上男女牽手、擁吻，可是從來不會有人說「你們搞異性戀沒關係，但是不要在大街上卿卿我我，那樣很難看」或是諸如此類的話。大家把男女生牽手逛大家視為一種恩愛的態度，但是同時如果是二個男生牽手，馬上就會引來異樣眼光。（在台灣，女生牽手還可以偷渡；在國外倒也是一樣會招來異樣眼光！）這種差別就是「歧視」。
如果今天規定所有人不管你是什麼戀，都不准在街上牽手擁吻卿卿我我，那我們自然無話可說，馬上閉嘴。但是如果只有某族群可以，而某族群不行，那麼就是不公平的歧視呀！（最近美國航空AA的歧視事件也可以當作一個例子！）
不過，既然是在同志咖啡館理面，當然，更無須畏懼那些眼光。就如同Bruce說的，「你們最好早點習慣。」我和Jörg這樣說這Bruce這位社七媽媽（Community Mum）的名言，我們都不覺莞爾。果然社七媽媽就靠著每天打扮整齊美美地出門倒垃圾，和鄰居一面閒話家常，另一面閒聊街頭巷尾的八卦，就可以完全對付那些行徑光怪陸離的豬女們！
話說回來，Café Gnosa的蛋糕真的好好吃喔！如果來到漢堡，一定不可以錯過喔！
Lästern (English Version)
There is a gay café in Hamburg, Café Gnosa. You can see the rainbow flag hanging right at the entrance. On Sunday afternoon, Jörg, Niko, and I walked in this popular café. The tables on the pavement were already occupied despite the chilling wind and cloudy sky outside. Even the indoor tables were not available at the moment when we arrived. We were lucky enough that someone was just about to leave, so we didn’t wait long to get a table for us three.
Jörg already told me that most of the customers who came to have a cup of coffee and a piece of cake on Sunday afternoon are actually straight, although this is a gay café. According to Niko, it’s because of the delicious cake offered here. Many guidebooks have introduced this place without mentioning that it is actually gay.
Jörg sometimes found people looking at him with certain kind of judgment when he wanted to hold his boyfriend’s hand, kiss him, or do some other intimate little action. ‘For goodness sake,’ he thought, ‘this is a gay café. Don’t make this place like a zoo!’ Niko then made a joke, ‘well, we are straight-friendly. So we don’t discriminate straight guys.’
I looked around. We were indeed surrounded by straight people. However, my attitude has always been ‘they better get used to this, the sooner, the better.’ I didn’t mind their judgmental eyes so much. I chat with Jörg about Bruce, my friend in Taiwan. I also shared some of Bruce’s viewpoints regarding sexuality with Jörg. I have known Jörg for almost 4 years, but until now when we chat about these political issues, I didn’t know that we also share some similar opinions.
The most popular activity in Café Gnosa is the same as that in other cafés, watching people and being watched by people. Jörg taught me a German word for this, ‘lästern.’ According to him, that is what everyone doing here. He is not sure what the English translation for that word is. He only described what it means. Then, I taught him a similar Chinese phrase, ‘pǐn tóu lùn zú.’ After I came back to the Netherlands, I looked it up on the internet German-Chinese Dictionary, ‘lästern’ means to criticise behind one’s back. It is not that different from ‘pǐn tóu lùn zú.’ This Chinese phrase actually also created an image of someone looking at others from head to toes, checking every details, and then making a judgment. Isn’t it exactly so? (Grin)
How did we come to this topic? It’s because we (Jörg and I) actually have a lot of opinions regarding some attitude such as ‘it’s ok for you to be gay, but don’t do those intimate things in public, it bothers me.’ More specifically, we don’t really need to tolerate that kind of judgmental attitude from straight guys in a gay café. Jörg even went to express his concerns once to the café owner some time ago.
I totally understand how he felt. Jörg also told me about this current mayor of Hamburg. He is actually gay, but awkwardly argued that ‘homosexuality’ is a private matter. It needs not to be mentioned in public. This could be the worst thing he could ever say. If we replace ‘homosexuality’ with ‘heterosexuality’ in this argument, it is so easy to see that heterosexuality is never a private matter. It has been taken for granted, and deemed as a normal and natural thing for such a long time. So long that we do not see it is discriminating other people. When you see a boy holding a girl’s hand on the street, or a man kissing a woman in bright daylight, no one has ever expressed that ‘oh, that bothers me’ attitude. If there were a law forbidding everyone regardless his or her sexuality to hold hands or kiss on the street in public, we would have shut up and stopped arguing. But if it is ok for some people to do so, but not ok for other groups of people to do it, it is then so unfair and it is exact discrimination.
However, since we are in a gay café, there is no fear towards those judgmental eyes. Just as Bruce once expressed, ‘they better get used to it, the sooner, the better.’ I shared this famous quote from Bruce, our beloved ‘Community Mum’ with Jörg. We actually found the name, ‘Community Mum’, very amusing. It is exactly what it is. It only takes a minute for Community Mum to discover those stupid pig-headed attitude. In this kind of chic chat, we can laugh at those awkward and bizarre arguments some pig-heads can ever make.
By the way, the cakes offered at Café Gnosa are really delicious and tasty. It’s amazing, it’s ‘breath-taking.’
之前，Jörg就已經提醒我了，這間雖然是掛著「彩虹旗」的同志咖啡館，但是現在星期天下午來喝咖啡吃蛋糕的顧客卻是以「異性戀」為主。Niko說，這是因為這間店的蛋糕實在太好吃了！旅遊簡介書上也沒有特別說這一家咖啡館的性質，所以按圖索驥而來的旅人也很多。
讓Jörg有些介意的是在這間「同志」咖啡館裡面，如果他要攬著男友的手、親吻男友、或是要從事一些其他親暱的小動作，但是卻常常發現隔壁的「Straight」用一種很「漢堡搜奇」的目光看著他。他覺得，「天老爺，這是同性戀的世界耶，不要把你們那種異性戀逛動物園的習慣帶進來吧！」Niko在一旁打趣說，「我們要記得Straight-friendly，我們可是風度翩翩的同性戀呢！我們不歧視異性戀喔！」
我轉頭看了看四周，的確，這一會兒，果然是環繞在異性戀顧客之中。不過，我向來都是「你們最好早點習慣」這種態度，所以也沒有太在意。我和Jörg聊起我的好朋友Bruce。順便幫忙就幫Bruce做個跨國公關，把他反對性/別歧視的觀點跟Jörg分享了一下。其實，我認識Jörg也有四年了，不過起初可完全不是因為性/別議題聊上話的！這一會兒聊到這些「政治」議題，才發現我們兩個人還真是觀點相同！
在Café Gnosa之中的最大活動就如同在其他所有的咖啡館裡面一樣。一面看人，一面被人看。Jörg教我一個德文字「lästern」，他說，這就是大家在這裡做的事情。他不知道那個字的英文是什麼，所以只好形容它的意思給我聽。我當時則告訴他一個擁有類似的意思中文詞句：「品頭論足」。回到荷蘭之後，我才查了出來，原來「lästern」的中文翻譯（根據網路上漢堡中德協會的漢德．德漢字典）是「在背後議論別人」的意思。其實也跟「品頭論足」相差不遠了。而且「品頭論足」還很可以塑造出一個從人家的頭打量到人家的腳，臉孔穿著身材風采通通看個仔細，然後評論挑剔一番。這真的是很貼切的形容呀！（一笑）
為什麼會聊到這個哩？其實是因為Jörg一直對於某些人那種「你們要搞同性戀沒關係，但是不要在大街上卿卿我我，那樣很難看」或是諸如此類的態度很有意見。尤其，他很難忍受竟然在同志咖啡館裡面都要受到這種眼光。（他還曾經真的為了這個事情跑去跟咖啡館老闆好好抗議了一下哩！）
我完全能夠體會他的感覺。Jörg也說，現在漢堡的市長其實就是個同志，但是卻很「詭譎」地認為「同性戀」是一個私領域的事情（private matter），所以不需要特別拿到公領域來說。這真的是非常的糟糕而且可議。為什麼？因為很簡單，如果把同性戀換成「異性戀」就可以發現，「異性戀」從來不是一個只是私領域的事情。你看見大街上男女牽手、擁吻，可是從來不會有人說「你們搞異性戀沒關係，但是不要在大街上卿卿我我，那樣很難看」或是諸如此類的話。大家把男女生牽手逛大家視為一種恩愛的態度，但是同時如果是二個男生牽手，馬上就會引來異樣眼光。（在台灣，女生牽手還可以偷渡；在國外倒也是一樣會招來異樣眼光！）這種差別就是「歧視」。
如果今天規定所有人不管你是什麼戀，都不准在街上牽手擁吻卿卿我我，那我們自然無話可說，馬上閉嘴。但是如果只有某族群可以，而某族群不行，那麼就是不公平的歧視呀！（最近美國航空AA的歧視事件也可以當作一個例子！）
不過，既然是在同志咖啡館理面，當然，更無須畏懼那些眼光。就如同Bruce說的，「你們最好早點習慣。」我和Jörg這樣說這Bruce這位社七媽媽（Community Mum）的名言，我們都不覺莞爾。果然社七媽媽就靠著每天打扮整齊美美地出門倒垃圾，和鄰居一面閒話家常，另一面閒聊街頭巷尾的八卦，就可以完全對付那些行徑光怪陸離的豬女們！
話說回來，Café Gnosa的蛋糕真的好好吃喔！如果來到漢堡，一定不可以錯過喔！
Lästern (English Version)
There is a gay café in Hamburg, Café Gnosa. You can see the rainbow flag hanging right at the entrance. On Sunday afternoon, Jörg, Niko, and I walked in this popular café. The tables on the pavement were already occupied despite the chilling wind and cloudy sky outside. Even the indoor tables were not available at the moment when we arrived. We were lucky enough that someone was just about to leave, so we didn’t wait long to get a table for us three.
Jörg already told me that most of the customers who came to have a cup of coffee and a piece of cake on Sunday afternoon are actually straight, although this is a gay café. According to Niko, it’s because of the delicious cake offered here. Many guidebooks have introduced this place without mentioning that it is actually gay.
Jörg sometimes found people looking at him with certain kind of judgment when he wanted to hold his boyfriend’s hand, kiss him, or do some other intimate little action. ‘For goodness sake,’ he thought, ‘this is a gay café. Don’t make this place like a zoo!’ Niko then made a joke, ‘well, we are straight-friendly. So we don’t discriminate straight guys.’
I looked around. We were indeed surrounded by straight people. However, my attitude has always been ‘they better get used to this, the sooner, the better.’ I didn’t mind their judgmental eyes so much. I chat with Jörg about Bruce, my friend in Taiwan. I also shared some of Bruce’s viewpoints regarding sexuality with Jörg. I have known Jörg for almost 4 years, but until now when we chat about these political issues, I didn’t know that we also share some similar opinions.
The most popular activity in Café Gnosa is the same as that in other cafés, watching people and being watched by people. Jörg taught me a German word for this, ‘lästern.’ According to him, that is what everyone doing here. He is not sure what the English translation for that word is. He only described what it means. Then, I taught him a similar Chinese phrase, ‘pǐn tóu lùn zú.’ After I came back to the Netherlands, I looked it up on the internet German-Chinese Dictionary, ‘lästern’ means to criticise behind one’s back. It is not that different from ‘pǐn tóu lùn zú.’ This Chinese phrase actually also created an image of someone looking at others from head to toes, checking every details, and then making a judgment. Isn’t it exactly so? (Grin)
How did we come to this topic? It’s because we (Jörg and I) actually have a lot of opinions regarding some attitude such as ‘it’s ok for you to be gay, but don’t do those intimate things in public, it bothers me.’ More specifically, we don’t really need to tolerate that kind of judgmental attitude from straight guys in a gay café. Jörg even went to express his concerns once to the café owner some time ago.
I totally understand how he felt. Jörg also told me about this current mayor of Hamburg. He is actually gay, but awkwardly argued that ‘homosexuality’ is a private matter. It needs not to be mentioned in public. This could be the worst thing he could ever say. If we replace ‘homosexuality’ with ‘heterosexuality’ in this argument, it is so easy to see that heterosexuality is never a private matter. It has been taken for granted, and deemed as a normal and natural thing for such a long time. So long that we do not see it is discriminating other people. When you see a boy holding a girl’s hand on the street, or a man kissing a woman in bright daylight, no one has ever expressed that ‘oh, that bothers me’ attitude. If there were a law forbidding everyone regardless his or her sexuality to hold hands or kiss on the street in public, we would have shut up and stopped arguing. But if it is ok for some people to do so, but not ok for other groups of people to do it, it is then so unfair and it is exact discrimination.
However, since we are in a gay café, there is no fear towards those judgmental eyes. Just as Bruce once expressed, ‘they better get used to it, the sooner, the better.’ I shared this famous quote from Bruce, our beloved ‘Community Mum’ with Jörg. We actually found the name, ‘Community Mum’, very amusing. It is exactly what it is. It only takes a minute for Community Mum to discover those stupid pig-headed attitude. In this kind of chic chat, we can laugh at those awkward and bizarre arguments some pig-heads can ever make.
By the way, the cakes offered at Café Gnosa are really delicious and tasty. It’s amazing, it’s ‘breath-taking.’
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